Sorry for bypassing this forum here guys, I happened to run into a posting on the Resolume facebook page and got in contact through there. Raven's advice was pretty much mirror to mine. Which made me feel silly when i was told that was suggested and didn't quite work. Luckily I'd seen this sliding playhead issue before.
So in my experience with getting Serato timecode and mixers to control Resolume I found the audio buffer plays a pretty significant role in how tight OSC controls things, even if audio isn't present in the tracks. For simple things like buttons and faders it doesn't really make a difference. But play head its massive.
Anyone who needs to use OSC to control playhead position should have the buffer around a minimum of 1024 or if possible 2048(my current without audio). I should test if a proper dedicated sound card makes a difference.
I wish i could be of help with the other issues but I'm stumped on them.